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“There’s no need for such accusations! All that happened was a fight, that’s all! Haven’t you heard the saying, anyway, ‘cheaper to keep her, ‘ my son?” Pastor Myers really pissed me off now.“Haven’t you heard of the Scripture, remove your foot from your neighbor’s house? Well, do it now! I’m not your son, especially if you’re boffing my wife! Oh, and tell her to forget this dumbass laundry list of demands! She has already shoved me into a motel, but her victory is fleeting! The courts hate mothers like her and she will not get to take me to the fucking cleaners!” I shouted angrily at him, making my kids laugh as I cussed him out.“Now, now, Mr. Morgan, there is no need for profanity ... haven’t you heard of the Commandment, ‘Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain’?” Pastor Myers started to preach again.“Strange, I don’t recall Jehovah answering to the name ‘fuck’, do you, kids?” I laughed, as they snickered, while I finally pushed Pastor Myers and his deacons out and. ”The bartender poured him another beer.A few minutes later, the man said for a third time: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.”Thoroughly confused, the bartender said: “Excuse me, when are you going to pay for all these beers?”The man said: “Now the arguments start.”A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years and then finally dies.A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, “Watch the wall!”Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”.
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